Silence Please Ladies & Gentlemen

It is with great honor I stand before you today as the Chairman and Chief Bottle Washer of the Sidewalker Fund. It gives me great pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to this, the first meeting of the Sidewalker Fund Investment Committee.

For those of you that have been following my quest for some time, you will know that I have often mentioned this day. The point at which we now stand is where the Sidewalker monies have swollen to a total that they must now flee the relative safety (assuming my bank doesn't go belly up) of the Sidewalker checking account. These coins we brought in off the street, were first nurtured back to usefulness by an extended stay in the Sidewalker Change Jar before Jr. and I deposited them in the bank.

It is time these coins repaid my faith in them (and their free board & lodging at Castle Sidewalker), and to that end we must put them to work. It is at this juncture I realized that the burden and responsibility of controlling such funds was a task that could not fall on one man's (mine) shoulders. So I have drawn up a short list of possibilities to allocate the $21 and change. I urge you to look over my list with due care and attention, then leave your suggestion in the comments section please.

So, in no particular order here are the suggestions.

Option 1: An ING Certificate of Deposit
Pro - These CD's are FDIC insured up to $250,000
Con - The yield sucks and who is insuring the FDIC?

Option 2: Buy 5 shares of Citibank (C.N) at $4.50
Pro - With a 52 week high of $23.50 there could be lots of upside potential.
Con - Major perpetrator of today's financial mess. Next Lehman perhaps? Lots of downside potential.

Option 3: Buy 1 American Eagle Silver Coin .999 fine silver
Pro - I get rid of my dollars before the Federal Reserve Bank devalues them to zero.
Con - It is a shiny piece of metal with a nominal value of $1.

Option 4: I go to the Borgata in Atlantic City and put it all on Black
Pro - I get to feel like a rock star for the time it takes the ball to settle.
Con - Tough to explain to Mrs Sidewalker why two years of sidewalking has yielded nothing when it lands on Red.

Option 5: Buy a Mario's Pizza Value Card for $20 that is redeemable for $30 worth of pizza, and sell it for $25 to the Hoboken Paddler
Pro - An easy $5, my very own printing press.
Con - Slightly unethical, borderline illegal for dealing in unofficial currency.

So what option should I go for? Have I missed an option out? What say you?


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $21.27

The Change Jar is dead; long live the Change Jar!

After yesterdays sobering post about the TARP program, I'm glad today I have a subject that is sure to lift the gloom that has been hanging over Castle Sidewalker the past 24 hours. If you remember, last week Jr. and I had an absolute debacle between us, as we left the most revered artifact in Sidewalker history, yes the Change Jar, in the bank never to be seen again. As a result of this loss I ended up taking Sidewalker Jr. to a thrift store today. I let him choose the replacement to nurture his sense of pride in ownership. That is my way of saying it's not the jar I would have chosen! Anyway here is a photo of the new change jar, and just to show the positive effects of change, no sooner had we bought it than I found a quarter followed by a dime, taking a big chunk out of this months target.

In other news, I have been working on an article for FiLife.com. I must admit I was a bit shocked to be approached about writing an article for a proper website. It was a challenge as I didn't feel I could just spew out the drivel that I produce here on a daily basis! Posting here is like having a chat and a drink in the local neighborhood bar with close friends. Writing the FiLife.com piece felt like I was giving a speech to an auditorium full of strangers, but lucky for me Mrs. Sidewalker was on hand to calm me down. Anyway it has been sent for editorial review, you can be sure I'll let you know if the article gets published or not! I've never seen a drum I didn't want to beat...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $15.96

Alas poor change jar...

Unfortunately I have some very sad news to relay today. It started this morning when I noticed that Sidewalker Jr. was a little antsy, so I suggested he join me on a field trip to help ease away the blues (and to bribe him into finishing his Cheerios for breakfast). I requested he ride shotgun for me as we took the Sidewalker Fund to the bank, and I would let him poor it all (ex-the '57 Wheat Back) into the change counting machine. Don't worry all you child safety police out there, shotgun in the Sidewalker jalopy is a child seat in the rear passenger side all nicely anchored and safely strapped in!

Anyway, we arrive at the bank. The Fund gets poured from the change jar into the counter by Sidewalker Jr., who is by now much happier, and visibly proud as it counts every hard-found penny we had. We proceed to get a deposit ticket then fill it out and with a receipt from the change machine go to the teller to complete our transaction.

The trip was a resounding success,we even found a penny on the way back to the car. On returning to Castle Sidewalker, Jr. rushes in to show off the new find. Mrs. Sidewalker tells him to put it in the change jar as we are starting anew, at which point I look at Jr. and he looks at me... CHANGE JAR!

Now we obviously had it at the cash counting machine, and I vaguely remember it at the deposit ticket desk, although not so much at the teller. Not to worry I say, I'll give the bank a call. I ask them if anyone has handed in an old jar, "No" is the reply. Oh. I say it must be at the deposit ticket desk, then the words hit me like a freight train, "No Sir there is no jar there either".

That jar had been with me for decades, it was like a trusty friend, always on my bed side table, the last thing I saw every night just as I was setting my alarm clock. The saddest part is, I've had to use an archive photo for this post, as I don't even have an original of my now departed vessel.

The flags will be at half-mast for the rest of the week at Castle Sidewalker. I took this opportunity to teach Jr., that just because something has always been there, doesn't mean it always will be there.

I looked into the replacement cost, (not that it can ever be replaced) somewhere in the region of $20, oh well...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $14.77