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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Silence Please Ladies & Gentlemen


It is with great honor I stand before you today as the Chairman and Chief Bottle Washer of the Sidewalker Fund. It gives me great pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to this, the first meeting of the Sidewalker Fund Investment Committee.

For those of you that have been following my quest for some time, you will know that I have often mentioned this day. The point at which we now stand is where the Sidewalker monies have swollen to a total that they must now flee the relative safety (assuming my bank doesn't go belly up) of the Sidewalker checking account. These coins we brought in off the street, were first nurtured back to usefulness by an extended stay in the Sidewalker Change Jar before Jr. and I deposited them in the bank.

It is time these coins repaid my faith in them (and their free board & lodging at Castle Sidewalker), and to that end we must put them to work. It is at this juncture I realized that the burden and responsibility of controlling such funds was a task that could not fall on one man's (mine) shoulders. So I have drawn up a short list of possibilities to allocate the $21 and change. I urge you to look over my list with due care and attention, then leave your suggestion in the comments section please.

So, in no particular order here are the suggestions.

Option 1: An ING Certificate of Deposit
Pro - These CD's are FDIC insured up to $250,000
Con - The yield sucks and who is insuring the FDIC?

Option 2: Buy 5 shares of Citibank (C.N) at $4.50
Pro - With a 52 week high of $23.50 there could be lots of upside potential.
Con - Major perpetrator of today's financial mess. Next Lehman perhaps? Lots of downside potential.

Option 3: Buy 1 American Eagle Silver Coin .999 fine silver
Pro - I get rid of my dollars before the Federal Reserve Bank devalues them to zero.
Con - It is a shiny piece of metal with a nominal value of $1.

Option 4: I go to the Borgata in Atlantic City and put it all on Black
Pro - I get to feel like a rock star for the time it takes the ball to settle.
Con - Tough to explain to Mrs Sidewalker why two years of sidewalking has yielded nothing when it lands on Red.

Option 5: Buy a Mario's Pizza Value Card for $20 that is redeemable for $30 worth of pizza, and sell it for $25 to the Hoboken Paddler
Pro - An easy $5, my very own printing press.
Con - Slightly unethical, borderline illegal for dealing in unofficial currency.

So what option should I go for? Have I missed an option out? What say you?


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $21.27

4 comments:

Joe LoRe said...

I would hold out on the ING option because they will give you $25 if you open the account with $100. So the question then becomes how do you turn this money into that $100. I say the Citibank stocks. Economy is turning around and even if the fed breaks them up it will still pan out on some level for you.

Evil Ray said...

That the American Silver Eagle Coin is a shiny piece of metal should be a pro and not a con.

Having said that, my vote is for the ING CD. The low yeild dovetails nicely with the getting rich slowly scheme.

Anonymous said...

Buy Bullets. When people realize that Ben and the Boys can't keep printing Green Backs like they are, this link will seem tame.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BK5H-bKjU4

Edjane said...

Sorry, Luke Sidewalker, but don't expect much help from this blog reader... I can't even make a decision on my paltry funds. I will certainly keep an eye on your decision and watch the results. Maybe I can learn something :D

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