Following the arrest last week of the local Mayor, there is now the very real possibility of a special election being held to fill his spot should he resign, or be incarcerated. I have been flattered, and to a certain extent stunned, to learn that in some quarters my name has been put forward to run for public office in the event that a special election is called. My supporters cite my unparalleled experience with "change" making me perfect for the job. However, my opponents have rightly pointed out that I have a long and well documented record of handling "dirty money" and that may be a major stumbling block on my route to City Hall (or not in these parts!).
As humbled as I am at the suggestion, below are the reasons why it can't happen:
1. I'm apolitical, and with no affiliation to the Democrats or Republicans it would be very tough to run as an Independent.
2. As of the time of posting my "war chest" to fund a run for public office stands at $14.64 (although I hope to find a little more before the election).This is not nearly enough in today's cash infused political environment.
3. My non-negotiable stance about applying commonsense to all decisions will, in all likelihood, be very poorly received in political circles.
4. If I ever try to cut the budget for street cleaning my opponents will immediately cry, "Conflict of interest!".
5. This blog was written to teach Sidewalker Jr. and Little Miss Sidewalker about the value of money, and not to be a launchpad for any political machinations!
-Luke Sidewalker (For Mayor)
-Current balance $14.64
4 comments:
Though it is very humble of you to decline your groups nomination, your above points are not valid, and the town could use some commonsense decision making.
1. Hoboken elections are non-partisan so you never have to reveal if you are a democrat/republican/socialist etc.
2. Though the war chest seems small now, if done "discreetly" envelopes of cash can "appear". I beleive you even have a bag man who has offered up his services.
3. You are supposed to crush your opponents into "powder" so that they will no longer be an issue.
4. Going through the contents of the street cleaner trucks can be the way to fix the budget problems in town.
5. How better to teach the little ones about money than showing them where everyone's hard earned tax dollars go in person...
SIDEWALKER '09 & 3/4
Thank you Anon for correcting me on those points. You have definitely given us something to think about at Castle Sidewalker. I still believe the special election, if held, will have come too early for the Sidewalker Juggernaut!
-Luke Sidewalker
In that case I am going to have to throw my support behind Joe C.
I don't mind going "on the record" as saying that I will support any candidate that uses commonsense to govern. But they are very scarce and hard to find, a bit like Susan B. Anthony dollar coins!
-Luke Sidewalker
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