Month End Report October '09

Days since inception: 669
Cash balance: $24.28 (all time)
Cents per day: 3.6293(since inception)
Predicted day for $1,000,000: Friday December 25th 77,446 AD

10/31/2009
$1,000,000
= 957.21 oz of Gold @ $1044.70 (as per Nymex close near month)
= 12,998.70 barrels of oil @ $76.99 (as per Nymex close Light Sweet Crude near month)
= 61,553.61 oz of Silver @ $16.246 (as per Nymex close near month)


For two months in a row now I have missed my target. By the end of this month I had hoped to be at $25. Is my declining rate of finding money due to a deteriorating real economy even in the face of better than expected GDP numbers published this week? Is coin finding seasonal in my present location? Every month end seems to throw up more questions and never any answers!

Disappointingly for the first time since records were kept the completion date for my quest to find a million dollars has actually moved away from me by 107 years since last months report. It's a bit deflating to be honest, but the journey will continue. And my currently projected completion date falls on Christmas Day!

This month saw the 100 year flood at Castle Sidewalker. I also had an article published about Black Holes at FiLife and Sidewalker Jr. almost got expelled from Pre-K for shaking down the dinner line.

There is never a dull moment around these parts! I hope next month will be better, but I will have a conservative target of $26 by the end of November.

Happy Halloween...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $24.28

Sidewalker Mailbag #8

It's Friday, so it's as good time as any to delve into the mailbag once more at Castle Sidewalker. After the flood the day before last the letters are a little damp, but still legible. This week I received a letter from Cap'n Tinkerson, for those of you not familiar with him you can find his bio by clicking this link. It is about half way down the list of miscreants!

Anyway this is what he had to say:

Lord Sidewalker,

Baltimore, the city of my residence, has introduced a new scheme for collecting charitable contributions for the homeless. They have placed a series of fake parking meters at random points on the sidewalk. (Note these parking meters are not near obvious parking spaces to avoid confusion). I assume they are recycling the old style parking meters which have been replaced by "pay and display". I recently found a coin at the base of one of these charity collection devices. I shall not share my next action, but I am curious to know what you would do on discovering coinage in a similar location?

Regards,
Cap'n Tinkerson

LS: After recovering from my initial shock - people pay for parking in Baltimore? I settled down to consider the question at hand. The mantra we live by at Castle Sidewalker is; 'Every coin has a home...in my pocket!' But as you see not every situation is created equally. There is a low probability that this coin was dropped elsewhere and rolled to the base of the charity meter, therefore one would have to pick it up and proceed to deliver the coin to its intended location within said meter.

I'm not going to ask the good Cap'n to reveal his course of action, as I know he does a lot of good work for charity, and there is no way that the coin in question found it's way into his chest full of booty.

In other news, this week I did an interview for one of my favorite blogs Red Pine Mountain. It is based on a rural outpost in Vermont, she has some lovely photographs and good posts. It is my 'virtual' escape from the concrete jungle that surrounds me. I'd like to thank the 'Mountain Woman' for the opportunity to be interviewed and the flattering lead-in she bestowed upon me. The full interview can be read by clicking here

Have a great weekend...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $24.23

Not Re-MOAT-ly Funny

Living at Castle Sidewalker definitely has its challenges. It is not the newest construction on the block, probably by a good hundred years. Over time I would like to restore it to its former glory. Among the renovations I'd like to perform would be the essential addition of a moat. No self-respecting castle can exist without a moat!

As you can imagine a project like that would take plenty of planning and plenty of money. Taking up a lot of time and cash, two things that are quite scarce in my life at the moment. Yesterday we had excessive rain in the local area, and as I looked out of the window with Sidewalker Jr. to see the run-off surrounding the Castle; we both imagined it was our moat-to-be. Then we heard the water rushing which I thought was strange because we were inside and the water was outside...wasn't it? Oh no, not the basement!

I rushed down the stairs past the cellar; still dry. Further down I went, past the dungeon; still dry but the noise of rushing water was increasing. Then I arrived at the sub-dungeon and sure enough the natural moat that was surrounding the Castle was also running right through it!

The falling leaves had blocked the storm drain and it seemed the whole neighborhoods' run-off had been diverted to my basement. I sifted through the flotsam and jetsam to see if any coins had been carried in on the flood waters, but no such luck.

Today the plumber comes to take his cut of the Sidewalker Fund...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $24.23

Heard at the Scuttlebutt

I heard a very disturbing rumor yesterday at the Castle Sidewalker scuttlebutt. I normally don't give much credit to rumors, but as you will see this one may have some legs.

The word out there is that Bank of America (BAC.N) may need some more money to stop from going belly up. It would be no great surprise to me, after their acquisition of Countrywide and then their forced ingestion of Merrill Lynch; I'm shocked they have managed to survive this long!

Previously I have commented about Bank of America's CEO Ken Lewis when he testified to Congress in the post Flaming Pantaloons in D.C. It came down to the fact that either Mr. Lewis, or Bumblin' Ben Bernanke the Federal Reserve Chairman was telling a massive whopper about the Merrill Lynch transaction. At the time it was a tough call to make, as Bumblin' Ben has a great portfolio of whoppers himself, including but not restricted to "...we have sub-prime contained" and denying the recession until we were a year into it.

It looks like Bumblin' Ben won that encounter as Ken Lewis is stepping down at the end of the year to concentrate on enriching a host of lawyers, as they try to defend him from the raft of lawsuits headed his way.

So as you can see there is no honor amongst this bunch of thieves. With their track record I can't dismiss any rumor I hear in the financial sector.

Will Bank of America be dipping their hand into my pocket once again? Hopefully not. Can I guarantee it won't happen? Definitely not!


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $24.10

The Return of the Loyal Correspondent

You may remember about a month ago I had a particularly entertaining email from a self described Loyal Correspondent. We deduced he/she is from overseas and more than likely from the United Kingdom, due to his/her references of V.A.T. (Value Added Tax) which is their version of G.S.T.

Well, my published article last week about The Black Holes of Currency has once again drawn this mystery correspondent out of his/her hole.

I received the following email from them:

Dear Lord Sidewalker,

I suggest you stand next to a ‘hand-cranked press-a-penny souvenir machine’ with a large bag of foil wrapped chocolate pennies. By substituting the real thing for the much loved confection you will save the US legal system many headaches and also make a mint!!

As ever, your loyal correspondent…

LS: I thought this a very witty and ingenious suggestion to the issues I outlined in the article. However, it seems that our Loyal Correspondent has little knowledge of how attorneys operate here. Far from reducing their headaches, they spend most of their energies in seeking 'headaches' in order to rack up the billable hours.

My suggestion to cure the US legal system of 'many headaches' is very simple and easy to implement. Whenever a court case is found to be frivolous, just disbar the attorney representing the plaintiff. In no time at all we will have a more efficient and headache free legal system...

As long as the Loyal Correspondent keeps providing this humorous content, I'm left wondering whether or not to give them a regular guest spot here at the Sidewalker Journal. What do you think?


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $24.06

Sidewalker Scissorhands Jr.

Sidewalker Jr.'s adventures at school are continuing a pace. His coin finding/dinner money shakedowns have slowed, which is a good sign. He seems to be enjoying the experience and he delights us with random words in Spanish and pointing out various mammals from time to time. They seem to have a really diverse curriculum for the youngsters, either that, or Jr. is only paying attention for 25% of the time.

The other day when I picked him up his teacher said, "I'm sorry about Jr.'s hair Mr. Sidewalker." I haven't got the keenest eye for detail and apart from looking a little ruffled the mop on top of his head seemed much the same as normal...until he turned to the side. I thought, "that's funny he didn't have a receding hairline on the right hand side this morning at breakfast!" His teacher went on to explain they were doing some scissor work in art class and Jr. had thought it a good opportunity to give his fringe a trim. I had to explain to him that we get haircuts at the barbers and not in the classroom. I asked him if he would do it again. He replied, "No, because everyone laughed at him." Not quite the answer I was looking for but it is a step in the right direction.

We will shortly be celebrating Jr.'s birthday. He thinks he is getting a toy aircraft carrier for his present. I have different ideas. He will forever remember this birthday as the year he got a haircut for a present! Maybe that will help the lesson sink in...

A harsh lesson? Perhaps. A necessary lesson? Definitely. The haircut costs 66% of the Sidewalker Fund.

Have a great weekend...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.78

Luke Sidewalker Meets Stephen Hawking

Today I'm very proud to announce the publishing of my fourth article for FiLife. Could it now be described as a series?

You are probably expecting some bold statement from me, about how excited I am and proclaiming that I'm the best writer no one knows about in the whole world, and it's just a matter of time before I sign my first book contract. About how I was prancing around the grounds of Castle Sidewalker this morning, with Mrs Sidewalker shouting "Relax rooster boy!", after me. Well that's not going to happen today.

To get any article published when you are a writer of my ability you need a little luck and a great Editor. So today I'd like to thank Ari Weinberg and his editorial staff at FiLife for their efforts reorganizing my rambling prose into something resembling an intelligent article. (Time and time again!)

This months offering sees me consolidate the theories of renowned physicist Stephen Hawking with a machine often found in tourist hot spots. I like to think of it as the Luke Sidewalker Universal Theory. So if you like black holes and penny arcades I suggest you click the link below. If neither of those subjects turn you on I suggest you still click the link below; and give me the chance to surprise you! Enjoy...

The Black Holes of Currency by Luke Sidewalker

For those of you late to the party here are my other three attempts:

The Penny is Dead, Long Live the Penny by Luke Sidewalker
Dollar Advantage: U.S. Open by Luke Sidewalker
A Dollar Found is Worth 67 Cents by Luke Sidewalker



-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.74

Peter Pan Recovery?

I love a good fantasy story just as much as the next man. Except that is, when this present fantasy becomes reality.

With the Federal Reserve saying the recession is over, and the S&P 500 up approximately 65% from the lows reached in March things definitely took better. But are they? With neighbors still losing jobs, and more and more mortgages falling delinquent; is this a Peter Pan recovery rooted in fantasy?

This week we have seen good earnings numbers from companies such as Coca-Cola (KO.N) and Caterpillar (CAT.N). However on closer inspection, these two companies like many others are creating earnings by cutting costs. Their biggest savings have been made by laying people off. There has been a big absence of revenue growth for these companies which is worrying going forward. When will the cost cutting tonic end? Well you can only cut costs to zero right? WRONG. It is possible to cut costs to below zero, if the company is the beneficiary of Government subsidies, which is even more worrying! As we are footing the bill.

So where do we go from here? When the cost cutting reaches it's natural conclusion and there is no revenue growth, do we fall back into the abyss? Or will the Government step in again with our money to create lots more "programs" to support the fantasy a little longer?

I'm not against companies making a profit, I'm against companies making profit on the back of Government gifts. When I see the Financials hit it out of the park playing with our money for free, it literally makes my stomach churn. All the while they give us prudent savers anemic yields on our savings. I know life isn't fair, but I didn't expect it to be this one sided...

My conclusion is that a jobless recovery is a feasible outcome for an inventory led recession, but not for a credit collapse led recession. But what do I know, I'm just a guy picking up coins in the street!


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.72

Mind The Gap...

...the penny gap, that is! Are you familiar with the penny gap concept? It has been in the news recently as some online publications have considered going from a free content model to a subscription based model, of particular note was this announcement by Rupert Murdoch in August of this year concerning his portfolio of newspapers' websites.

The premise of the penny gap, is the fact that the hardest money to get people to part with is the first cent. As in the difference between FREE aka $0.00 and the princely sum of $0.01, they say that it is easier to get people to go from 1 cent to 2 cents (although I've never tried). It has something to do with inertia, and mental transaction costs. For those of you interested in a more eloquent description of the penny gap pertaining to web based content you can find it by clicking here. (I love the graph.)

Where am I going with this? Well coins have been thin on the ground lately (that's no secret I publish my total). That has led to some soul searching here at Castle Sidewalker, and we have been mulling the idea of charging a fee to read this content. I thought a penny a view would be fitting price schedule, what do you think?

It was just after that thought when the lightning bolt struck! You, my dear reader, are not a customer; you are my partner. I rely on you to distribute my content by word of mouth. Luke Sidewalker is not 'main stream', in fact it's not even main trickle. Where would your motivation be to spread the word of Luke if you were charged for access? Probably marginally less than where it is now! Anyway, upstanding people do not charge partners for access to content. And you are my greatest asset. Without you I'd just be a sad old guy scratching around the waste grounds of America trying to find beat up old disks of metal under the guise of teaching his two pre-K children the value of money.

So my partner, I salute you. Now go forth and spread the word of Luke!

In other news, I've been working on another article for FiLife.com, as always if it gets published I'll make sure you're the second person to know. That's FREEmium service right there, that is; don't say I never take care of you!


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.62

Changing Fortunes

I just had a look at my tweets for this week and I noticed I had only found three measly cents! Ever since I made my comeback in February of this year, after my online banking debacle of 2008, I don't think I have ever found this little in a Monday to Friday span.

I used to be a guy that found lots of change in the street and posted about it on my blog occasionally. It seems I am now a man that post a lot on my blog, and finds change in the street occasionally!

Perhaps it is just all part of the ebb and flow of money. Perhaps there is more seasonality in sidewalking than I had previously thought? If I'm only bagging 3 cents a week in October what are my numbers going to look like in the middle of December?

If this trend continues I may have to consider going on a TV game show to supplement my sidewalking revenue. But the thought of losing my anonymity is a pretty strong deterrent! Until the hunger pains kick in that is...

Have a great weekend.


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.62

Shopping with Sidewalker #3

It's the 15th of the month, so that means it's time for a trip to the supermarket. This is the third month of the Shopping with Sidewalker feature. It has been the most expensive month so far indicating inflation perhaps?. However the Federal Reserve has told us the threat of inflation is minimal, so that can't be the cause of the price rises then can it? Perhaps it is their weak dollar policy that is increasing the price of imports? Ding, ding, ding, ding. That was the bell going off for anyone thinking that trashing the dollar would be an easy way out of this credit mess. Perhaps it will get the banks off the hook, but with a weaker dollar guess who is paying the bill (again!)?

Some observations I've made. The price of the white seedless grapes are very erratic. I guess that is seasonality and shipping costs. Meanwhile the price of sugar is creeping up every month. Other than that there is nothing too crazy apart from the fact it was $2.41 more than last month! That is just under 3% month over month.

$3.99 {+$1.20} 1lb Land O' Lakes unsalted butter
$2.49 {-$0.01} 1 dozen Eggland's Best large grade 'A' eggs
$1.34 {+$0.01} 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola Classic
$3.45 {-$0.50} 5lb Perdue Oven Stuffer whole roaster chicken
$9.99 {No Change} 12 pack of Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper
$3.19 {No Change} 1 loaf of Wonder Bread Classic White
$3.79 {No Change} 2.5 Gallons of Poland Spring drinking water
$2.79 {No Change} 6.4oz. Starkist Chunk Light Tuna in water
$4.98 {No Change} 2lb of 80% lean ground beef
$3.19 {No Change} 5.6oz. Aquafresh Triple Protection toothpaste
$2.99 {+$1.70} 1lb Seedless White Grapes
$2.50 {-0.99} 5lb Idaho Potatoes
$2.29 {No Change} 3 Bars of Dial Soap white
$27.99 {No Change} Nestle Good Start 2 Natural Cultures 9-24 Months baby food
$2.99 {No Change} 12 oz. box of Kellogg's Cornflakes
$3.49 {+$0.50} 11.3 oz Folgers Classic Roast coffee
$5.49 {No Change} 3lb Uncle Bens long grain rice
$1.79 {No change} 4 pack 9 Lives cat food
$2.99 {+$0.30} 50 oz. Ajax laundry detergent
$3.69 {+$0.20} 5lb Domino Pure Cane Granulated Sugar
Total: $95.41 {+$2.41}


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.60

Reigning in Sidewalker Jr.

About a month ago we sent Sidewalker Jr. off on his merry way to start school. I made a little jest about the playgrounds of pre-K being a barren coin-less wasteland. How very wrong I was. Sidewalker Jr. has bagged a modest 60 cents since starting school. Fear not, we did not include that in the Sidewalker Fund total. Although I see him as an angelic little toddler, there is always the chance that when the school gates close he turns into a vicious ruthless gangster. Shaking down his classmates in the dinner line, and running an extortion racket on the substitute teachers.

So with this in mind, all his unsupervised finds at school have been returned the next day in the teacher/parent folder with a note. If his teacher is driving a new sports car by the end of the year, the long finger of suspicion will pointing once again!

To make a short story a little longer, I think it should be noted that Junior Sidewalkers need supervision up until the point that their solo finds can be assumed to have not been originated in any way that my lead to expulsion from school.


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.60

Cashing in on Chris Columbus

I have made no secret of the fact in prior posts that the ultimate sidewalker find would be some type of ancient coin. My trip to Europe in search of Roman coins was a bust, so I decided to focus my efforts back on these shores. Where would be a good place to start that search?

After some head scratching my logic (not always the most apt direction) led me to surmise that a good place to find ancient coins would be where Christopher Columbus made landfall here in the New World. Perhaps a few sailors overdid the grog when finally coming ashore after a tortuous trans-Atlantic passage and a few doubloons may have slipped out of their pockets.

It was at this juncture that I discovered the point of landfall for Christopher Columbus is still quite a contentious issue. It appears it was somewhere in the Bahamas, before continuing on to Cuba.

This search is obviously going to take some major funding and with $23 and change in my coffers it may have to wait for some time. I'm thinking needle and haystack when it comes to locating any coinage that traveled to these shores from the Old World aboard The Nina.

That being said, you can see why the value of these old coins is so high. I like to think of myself as a modern day Christopher Columbus exploring the many Sidewalks of America. However, I have made it very easy for any of our future generations that wish to follow in the footsteps of Luke Sidewalker. I have left them my Cash Trail Map hopefully eliminating any guess work. If only Chrissy Columbus had taken the time to log into Google maps...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.59

Luke Sidewalker and the Lost Symbol

After the rant/disgust in my last post, I put myself in the cooler for a couple of days! I'm going to keep it brief today as I have to prepare Castle Sidewalker for Halloween.

The other day @TJPrz sent me a very interesting picture if you like coins and like symbols. It can be seen by clicking here. He thought it was a sign and so did I!

Like him it inspired me to go out and buy The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I just finished the book last night (no, that's not the reason I haven't posted in a couple of days!). It was a good read, but it was very similar to his other Robert Langdon novels, The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons.

I found it enjoyable with a wicked twist towards the end that I did not see coming, but I won't spoil that surprise for any of you that haven't read it yet.

Is Dan Brown a great storyteller? Yes definitely (even though it is the same story every time!). Is Dan Brown a great writer? The jury is still out on this one. But I'm no literary genius... obviously!

Have a great weekend...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.54

Regulate This!

It's been a while since we had a Sidewalker rant so I think we are due. I went down to the basement storage unit at Castle Sidewalker (that's one level above the dungeon, for those of you keeping track at home) and I've fished out the Sidewalker Flashlight of Clarity that I'm about to shine brightly on the latest outrage!

I'm going to present two cases to you, and the question is; which of the two industries needs to feel the full force and weight of Government regulation immediately?

Case 1: Banking Industry
An industry where they lent money to under-qualified homebuyers earning big fees and big bonuses. They then sliced and diced that debt through securitization and sold the pile of poop to each other, earning even more big fees and even more big bonuses. Then when the whole charade blew up they looted the U.S. Treasury of every last cent of taxpayer money to the point where the smallest unit they talk about is Billions, in order to cover their incompetence.

Case 2: Blogging Industry
Joe Sixpack wrote on his blog that he took a diet pill and lost 10lbs in two weeks, overstating his weight loss by 8lbs. He promotes this diet pill and implores you to buy it for $19.99 including shipping and handling. Is it a sugar pill? Probably. Should you believe him and buy it? Probably not.

So which one needs instant attention? Just for the record our Government went with Case 2 this week, as they announced the FTC will be regulating blogs. If you are still trying to figure out how the Government works let me leave you with this little hint.

Bloggers have ZERO lobby dollars...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $23.42

Sexy Finance?

Yesterday after my decision to buy a CD with the Sidewalker Fund proceeds, I alluded to the fact that finance could not be sexy. In fact you could make a good argument that the title to this post is an oxymoron. However I've never seen an argument I didn't want to take the other side of, so yesterday afternoon I did some research in an effort to disprove myself. (Have I lost you yet? Because it is sure as hell confusing me!)

Off I went on my merry way into the blogosphere, and to my great surprise I found that some sectors of finance can indeed be sexy (just not getting rich slowly). As you all know by now my mission is to get rich at a snails pace, one cent at a time, by picking up coins I find on the sidewalk. My blog is not about asset allocation, retirement planning, college tuition etc. Which enables me to give the following recommendation without fear of losing my 'reader'(you know who you are)!

I came across a blog about budgets and budgeting in general. It is a subject I barely touch upon, but it is something we all should take an interest in. I just thought it was a bit boring that is why I have never taken up the torch. I stand corrected, so let me introduce you to the blog in question by clicking the link below:

Budgets Are Sexy

It is a well written blog scribed by a guy that goes by the name of J.Money, and to be quite honest a very clean looking blog. (I think I need a revamp of my layout, but that is a post for another day). The writing style can be a little edgy at times, but then again it's not called Budgets for Kids!

Anyway, it's proof positive that some aspects of finance can be sexy...


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $22.91

Mundane Monday

After much deliberation about how to invest the Sidewalker Fund a decision has been reached. After careful consideration, and taking into account the amount of time it has taken to amass the cash, there was really only one option left at the end of the day.

I ruled out buying shares, as the transaction costs were prohibitive. I liked the idea of buying a silver bullion coin, but the cost of shipping and handling was prohibitive. I loved the idea of going to Atlantic City and playing roulette with it, but the cost to my relationship with Mrs Sidewalker was prohibitive. The idea of trading in Mario's Pizza credit was intriguing but the moral and ethical implications were prohibitive.

So that left me with one option, the Certificate of Deposit. Today I entered into an agreement with ING Bank, I bought a $20 12 month CD with a yield of 2.10%. I know it's not sexy but it is safe, besides when has getting rich slowly ever been sexy? On 5th October 2010 the Sidewalker Fund will be 43 cents richer when the CD matures. I have a year to figure out how I'm going to represent those 43 cents in My Cash Trail Map to the right!


-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $22.90

Sidewalkers Have Feelings Too

The other day I received an email from a 'friend' of mine. The title really grabbed my attention. It was 'Check this out: Premier Financial Bloggers'. I quickly opened the body of the email where there was a short message and a link. It said, 'You'll never believe this article in The New York Magazine'

Instantly my mind started racing, it was an article about the preeminent financial blogs of our time. Could it possibly be that Luke Sidewalker had grabbed some major column inches in a widely distributed publication? I felt giddy with excitement as I opened the link, just like that first time your parents let you go on the wooden roller-coaster at the State fair (you know, the one with the 15 foot, 45 degree drop that appeared like it came from the heavens!). This publicity would be the defining moment in Luke Sidewalker's two year meteoric rise from total obscurity.

The article focused mainly on the blog Zero Hedge and rightly so. An inspired and informative piece of blogging from an anonymous (like me) former hedge-fund insider (not like me). After reading the first six pages I was a little disheartened at my lack of mentions, but hopes were raised on the last page when I saw a list headed by the line 'A few of the more prominent financial bloggers'.

Alas you will notice if you clicked the link that the New York Magazine passed me by this time. And the email from my 'friend' was a timely reminder that my head needs to experience a little deflation of its own from time to time. My own brand of short posts and anecdotal economic insights will have to flounder around a little longer in not quite total obscurity thanks to you, my dear reader.

So if you have ever enjoyed my blog and never told anyone about it; don't feel guilty. Just tell the next friend you see!

Have a great weekend...



-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $22.65